Our personality normally doesn't change. You can work on your negative characteristics but our core personality generally stays the same.
It's important to understand who you are and rather work on accepting yourself. Many of my clients try so hard to fit in or try to be liked by everyone. Changing yourself and behaving against your personality traits means that your are not true to yourself. This means that you use up lots of your energy and this leaves you feeling exhausted. Not being yourself will ultimately make you feel burned out and unhappy. Rather surround yourself with people who are positive and who are supportive of you. This means that you can be yourself, feel happy and use your energy for things which are important to you.
Some personalities clash, some personalities fit better with being friends rather than work colleagues and visa versa. Knowing yourself means that you can make the right choice of who should be in your life and who drains you. Be aware of this, make the right decisions and you will feel that your life is much calmer.
Watch my video to pick up more tips on different personality types.
For more information on this topic or if you are interested in doing a personality test, please email me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za
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Personalities
22 September 2016, 15:59
Your personality is who you ARE. Many people do not really like who they are but I generally see that they do not KNOW themselves well enough to like themselves.
Do you know yourself? I mean, do you truly KNOW yourself?
Taking a personality test can help a lot to understand yourself better and identify your positive characteristics. Focusing on these will increase your self-esteem. Many of my clients are working really hard to be someone else, to be liked more or to fit in. The truth is that sometimes we do not fit in. This is often not because you are a bad or unlikable person but because there is a personality clash between you and another person. In addition, if you do not like yourself, you cannot expect others to like you. Also, if you try to be someone whom you are not, you will never feel truly happy.
We all have positive and negative characteristics. You have a choice of working on your negative characteristics or accepting them. Moaning about them or being unhappy within yourself will never get you to your desired end goal- generally all we want is to feel happy, accepted and content inside. This means that your first step should be to find out who you really are ....
Contact me for a personality test. I am always happy to give feedback and answer any questions that you might have. Email me andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za
Watch this week's video for more help in understanding the importance of finding out who you are.
Andrea
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Why do you get ANGRY?
15 September 2016, 15:03
WOW! another week has gone by and so many people were interested in the latest ANGER MANAGEMENT hints and tips. Lots of people are STRESSED and become irritated and angry quickly. It's so important to understand WHY you get angry: understand your TRIGGERS!
Do you feel your principles and beliefs have been violated? Is someone attacking you as a person? Are you unable to achieve your goals? Are you trying to rectify a wrong but can't? Which trigger is your worst?
Understanding yourself is so important because it allows you to change your REACTIONS. Remember you can't control how people will behave but you can control how you will react to them.
This week I had a number of clients who were able to think about their triggers and realise that their reactions weren't good. Negative reactions make you feel out of control and physically or mentally ill.
So be kind to yourself, change your reactions and feel calmer.
Watch this weeks video for more help.
Try it and give me feedback! andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za
Have a great week everyone.
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Learning to identify your TRIGGERS
8 September 2016, 08:32
Over the last decade I have worked with many people, helping them with their anger management. I have come across people who get very ANGRYand have said that they cannot CONTROL their emotional outbursts, they become physically violent, emotionally abusive or throw things around. Some mentioned that they only see RED and REACT. On the other hand I have had clients who said that they never get angry. Both reactions are notgood to have - the extreme anger and the inability to identify anger at all.
It isNORMALto get angry at times. This is part of our repertoire of emotions. If you get angry ALL the time it can be very toxic to your physical and mental health. If you never get angry, or think that you never get angry, you might not be in tune with your emotions and might bottle things up inside of you without even knowing where it comes from or how to release it. IRRITATION, ANGER, or RESENTMENThave specific triggers in us. Those triggers can be quite different from person to person. This is why we react so differently to people and situations around us. Triggers can be part of your value system, your morals, believes and personality. For instance if someone lies to us, we can get really upset.
What are your triggers?
Take this week and identify them to understand yourself and control your anger or irritation better.
Watch this video for more tips on dealing with your anger.
Please send me feedback or any questions you may have to andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za
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Are you respecting yourself?
1 September 2016, 13:40
Have you ever felt that you cannotspeak your mind because you are too scared to hurt other people or be perceived wrong? When did you feel that way? Is there a specific situation or a certain person that makes you feel like this? Identifying the situation or person that puts us in this dilemma is important so that you can take over the control to change.
We don't speak our mind if we haven't learnt to be ASSERTIVE and feel that we are not worthy to say what we think or we are scared of coming across the wrong way. If you do not speak your mind, you might bottle things up and that can be toxic for you. If you let your bottled up feelings out at a later stage, you might find that you choose the wrong words or tone of voice and then others don't understand you correctly. That is why it is important to speak your mind early enough and in a respectful way for yourself and other people.
Being assertive doesn't mean that you cannot change your mind. You also need to be aware that you shouldn't need the approval of other people all the time. If you don't know what you want and what you don't want, you have the right to think about it and tell the person that you will come back to them later. You have the right to choose if you want to help out or not. Don't always feel obliged to jump in and help.
In summary, see yourself as having RIGHTS, be kind to yourself and speak your mind in a respectful way. Say things early enough that you don't feel overwhelmed by emotions. Try not to over-commit as this might put you into a spot where you feel stuck and overwhelmed.
Assertiveness can increase the quality of relationships with others and will increase your self-esteem tremendously.
Try it out this week. Please email me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za with any feedback or questions.
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