EQ Advant-Edge blog

Train your brain not just your body

Thu, 6 Oct 2016 9:33:00 +0200

Imagine if treating problematic symptoms was as simple as watching a movie - except that your mind controls the quality of the experience. Neurofeedback therapy is training for your brain. It strengthens the brain, calms it and improves stability. In short, it rewires the brain.

During neurofeedback you learn to train your brain to correct the faulty brain wave activity, resulting in improved day-to-day functioning. Like a muscle, your brain gets stronger the more you train it. in many cases the results are permanent: when the brain has been trained to move into the new brainwave-forms, symptoms can disappear completely and medication can be reduced or stopped.

Neurofeedback doesn't simply mask the symptoms but corrects the cause. It has non of the side-effects associated with medication.

Brain training helps with:

- Better focus, attention & concentration levels and improved memory
- Improved task completion and organisation skills
- Aids relaxation and improves sleep
- Enhances moods and emotions
- Helps the brain to function at its optimal level

When the brain works better, you feel better and perform better.

So why only train your body if you can also train your brain? Book your neurofeedback assessment today!

Find out more by watching ...

Remember to follow us on Facebook and Twitter and email me with feedback or questions to andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Different Personality Types

Thu, 29 Sep 2016 12:6:00 +0200

Our personality normally doesn't change. You can work on your negative characteristics but our core personality generally stays the same.

It's important to understand who you are and rather work on accepting yourself. Many of my clients try so hard to fit in or try to be liked by everyone. Changing yourself and behaving against your personality traits means that your are not true to yourself. This means that you use up lots of your energy and this leaves you feeling exhausted. Not being yourself will ultimately make you feel burned out and unhappy. Rather surround yourself with people who are positive and who are supportive of you. This means that you can be yourself, feel happy and use your energy for things which are important to you.

Some personalities clash, some personalities fit better with being friends rather than work colleagues and visa versa. Knowing yourself means that you can make the right choice of who should be in your life and who drains you. Be aware of this, make the right decisions and you will feel that your life is much calmer.

Watch my video to pick up more tips on different personality types.

For more information on this topic or if you are interested in doing a personality test, please email me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Personalities

Thu, 22 Sep 2016 15:59:00 +0200

Your personality is who you ARE. Many people do not really like who they are but I generally see that they do not KNOW themselves well enough to like themselves.

Do you know yourself? I mean, do you truly KNOW yourself?

Taking a personality test can help a lot to understand yourself better and identify your positive characteristics. Focusing on these will increase your self-esteem. Many of my clients are working really hard to be someone else, to be liked more or to fit in. The truth is that sometimes we do not fit in. This is often not because you are a bad or unlikable person but because there is a personality clash between you and another person. In addition, if you do not like yourself, you cannot expect others to like you. Also, if you try to be someone whom you are not, you will never feel truly happy.

We all have positive and negative characteristics. You have a choice of working on your negative characteristics or accepting them. Moaning about them or being unhappy within yourself will never get you to your desired end goal- generally all we want is to feel happy, accepted and content inside. This means that your first step should be to find out who you really are ....

Contact me for a personality test. I am always happy to give feedback and answer any questions that you might have. Email me andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Watch this week's video for more help in understanding the importance of finding out who you are.

Andrea

Why do you get ANGRY?

Thu, 15 Sep 2016 15:3:00 +0200

WOW! another week has gone by and so many people were interested in the latest ANGER MANAGEMENT hints and tips. Lots of people are STRESSED and become irritated and angry quickly. It's so important to understand WHY you get angry: understand your TRIGGERS!

Do you feel your principles and beliefs have been violated? Is someone attacking you as a person? Are you unable to achieve your goals? Are you trying to rectify a wrong but can't? Which trigger is your worst?

Understanding yourself is so important because it allows you to change your REACTIONS. Remember you can't control how people will behave but you can control how you will react to them.

This week I had a number of clients who were able to think about their triggers and realise that their reactions weren't good. Negative reactions make you feel out of control and physically or mentally ill.

So be kind to yourself, change your reactions and feel calmer.

Watch this weeks video for more help.

Try it and give me feedback! andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Have a great week everyone.

Learning to identify your TRIGGERS

Thu, 8 Sep 2016 8:32:00 +0200

Over the last decade I have worked with many people, helping them with their anger management. I have come across people who get very ANGRY and have said that they cannot CONTROL their emotional outbursts, they become physically violent, emotionally abusive or throw things around. Some mentioned that they only see RED and REACT. On the other hand I have had clients who said that they never get angry. Both reactions are not good to have - the extreme anger and the inability to identify anger at all.

It is NORMAL to get angry at times. This is part of our repertoire of emotions. If you get angry ALL the time it can be very toxic to your physical and mental health. If you never get angry, or think that you never get angry, you might not be in tune with your emotions and might bottle things up inside of you without even knowing where it comes from or how to release it.

IRRITATION, ANGER, or RESENTMENT have specific triggers in us. Those triggers can be quite different from person to person. This is why we react so differently to people and situations around us. Triggers can be part of your value system, your morals, believes and personality. For instance if someone lies to us, we can get really upset.

What are your triggers?

Take this week and identify them to understand yourself and control your anger or irritation better.

Watch this video for more tips on dealing with your anger.

Please send me feedback or any questions you may have to andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Are you respecting yourself?

Thu, 1 Sep 2016 13:40:00 +0200

Have you ever felt that you cannot speak your mind because you are too scared to hurt other people or be perceived wrong? When did you feel that way? Is there a specific situation or a certain person that makes you feel like this? Identifying the situation or person that puts us in this dilemma is important so that you can take over the control to change.

We don't speak our mind if we haven't learnt to be ASSERTIVE and feel that we are not worthy to say what we think or we are scared of coming across the wrong way. If you do not speak your mind, you might bottle things up and that can be toxic for you. If you let your bottled up feelings out at a later stage, you might find that you choose the wrong words or tone of voice and then others don't understand you correctly. That is why it is important to speak your mind early enough and in a respectful way for yourself and other people.

Being assertive doesn't mean that you cannot change your mind. You also need to be aware that you shouldn't need the approval of other people all the time. If you don't know what you want and what you don't want, you have the right to think about it and tell the person that you will come back to them later. You have the right to choose if you want to help out or not. Don't always feel obliged to jump in and help.

In summary, see yourself as having RIGHTS, be kind to yourself and speak your mind in a respectful way. Say things early enough that you don't feel overwhelmed by emotions. Try not to over-commit as this might put you into a spot where you feel stuck and overwhelmed.

Assertiveness can increase the quality of relationships with others and will increase your self-esteem tremendously.

Try it out this week. Please email me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za with any feedback or questions.

Watch this weeks video for more hints and tips

Are you using the best communication style?

Thu, 25 Aug 2016 11:27:00 +0200

Have you come across a person who is angry, comes across as being irritated and is using bad language or has a negative vibe? How do you feel when you are around a person like this? I bet you don't want to be around that person and find any excuse in your mind why you shouldn't spend time with him or her.

Or picture a person who is often sarcastic, is irritated, gets upset about things that are not so big or reacts in an irrational way. So you never know where you stand, you have to listen to negative comments or snarky remarks. Do you like people like this? Would you want to be around them?

Then again, I'm sure you have come across people who don't say much. You always make the decisions for them and they come along. You are not quite sure if they enjoy themselves or if they are happy with your decisions but you make them anyway because someone has to.

All of those are BAD COMMUNICATION STYLES. Could you identify them? Are you maybe using one of them yourself? If you do, you might find that you are not feeling very good in your life, might not think that others respect you and don't feel understood or valued.

I see this quite often with my clients. 75% of problems are due to wrong communication styles, misunderstandings and incongruent messages. Understanding your communication style and changing it can make a huge difference and help you get you what you want in life.

Try it out and give me some feedback on your successes and experiences.

Watch my video for more info and follow us for more hints and tips.

Share your story - I would love to hear from you. Email me andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

The Importance of Congruent Communication by Andrea Kellerman

Mon, 15 Aug 2016 14:40:00 +0200

I always find that most problems in relationships are due to COMMUNICATION ERRORS. Many people are not able to say what they think and don't package the messages in a correct way. There is generally a great fear of being misunderstood, creating conflict, being too harsh or hurting others and not being important enough to voice an opinion. This can cause negative feelings such as irritation, anger and resentment.

In order to send a message in an effective way, you need to know that communication is parted into different sections:

1) Body Language
2) Verbal Message
3) Energy/Vibe that you have when communicating

If you want to bring a certain message across, you need to make sure that all those sections are congruent. This means if you want to say "no" for example, you need to make sure that your words are chosen correctly. Your body language must show that you really mean "NO" and your energy must be confident and in line with your message. This makes you more believable and others will respect you more. If your message is not communicated in a congruent way, others might not take you seriously and can ignore what you have said.

I am sure you have experienced this in your life already. You keep on saying: "No, I don't want this", or "No, I don't want to come along" and others have tried to change your mind, have not taken you seriously or have just ignored what you have said. If this happens on a regular basis, it might be that your message is not communicated in a congruent and effective way.

Check your body language, what you say and how you say it. If you are really convinced that you mean what you say and your message is communicated congruently, you will see that others will understand you better and won't ignore or manipulate you any more.

Watch Andrea's video for more hints and tips.

Practice this skill and give me some feedback by emailing me at andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za

Good Luck!

The Importance of Setting Boundaries by Andrea Kellerman

Thu, 11 Aug 2016 15:0:00 +0200

BOUNDARIES are important in our lives to feel more in control and live according to our true inner self.

After having explained why boundaries are important I often hear different reasons why it is hard to actually set proper boundaries.

Here are the most common reasons why people do not like to set boundaries:

Myths about boundary setting

Other people won't like you any more if you say no - Try to find the reason why you don't want to say no. Often we are afraid of rejection or loosing someone. Ask yourself if your life might not be easier if you say no in certain situations. Often this relieves us from feeling overworked, used and taken for granted.

You might hurt others - Often people are scared to set boundaries because they don't want to hurt others. At the same time they hurt themselves because they are not able to fulfill everything that they promised or think they need to fulfill. It's not fair on you or others not to set boundaries.

You will get hurt by others - Often people are scared that they will get hurt if they say what they think. This is not necessarily true, we generally get hurt more if we don't set boundaries and allow others to manipulate us. Saying what you think and feel in an assertive way will get you further than not saying anything at all.

You might feel guilty - I hear this one quite often - We feel that others have done so much for us or we don't want to be rude and that is why we cannot say no or set boundaries. When boundaries are set in an assertive way, we do not have to feel guilty as we are doing it in a respectful way.

Once you set the boundaries, you cannot change them any more - You can always change boundaries, nothing is cast in stone. You just need to be consistent with your inner believes and principles in life.

When you understand what kind of boundary problems you have and who the people are who push your boundaries, you need to identify a way to be more in control again. Overcoming the myths of boundary setting will help you to actually set good boundaries and to be consistent with your behavior. You will see that you get positive outcomes in different situations. Those positive outcomes will allow you to carry on working on your new behaviour.

The more you practice, the better you will get.

Good luck.

Watch Andrea's video for more hint and tips

Please email me andrea@eq-advantedge.co.za with any comments or queries. Looking forward to hearing from you.